Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring-what your life will be! For you are like a vapor that appears for a while, then vanishes. Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15 CSB

It’s been a rough 5 days for me. I’d say mentally and emotionally more than physically. My son started to have headaches then a fever then a day or so later, I started with a cough with chest pain. We got tested for COVID-19 and sure enough we both tested positive. When I received the results, so many things ran through my head such as “how will the virus affect us individually?” “will we get through this?” “what symptoms will I have since I’m fully vaccinated?”  As an Infection Preventionist working in an acute care hospital, I’ve seen how COVID-19 sweeps across racial/ethnic lines, age groups, socio-economic statuses, without regard. I’ve seen the elderly released home while the “young” fight for their lives on ventilators or be willed through the corridors to the morgue. I’ve seen even those who in normal circumstances would have access to health care be denied transfer due a lack of available beds and/or appropriate staffing. There’s no way to know exactly how it will affect you until you’re in the midst of it. 

I was three days away from boarding the plane to New York. My partner and I were planning to attend a wedding and enjoy all the city has to offer. I had planned for a picnic in Central Park and to stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge. Then I received the positive results. The flights were cancelled, hotel cancelled, my son’s school was notified, work notified, along with family and close friends. Then, I started the quarantine process. The worst day for me thus far has been Day 2 physically. The headache was excruciating and it literally felt like little knives were poking every area of my head, face, and neck. Tylenol dulled the pain slightly at best. Day 3, I prayed in the Spirit. I asked God to heal me, protect my home, send his angels to guard every area of my home, and to bring us through. I praised His name amid my pain in tears and stood firm on His healing power. One thing I never question is His ability to heal. I’m certain that He can. I’m also clear that all things occur according to His will. When I finished praying in the Spirit, peace surrounded me. I went to urgent care to be evaluated. My oxygen saturation was 100% and was given instruction to use over the counter medications (i.e., Motrin, Tylenol, and Robitussin) with lots of fluids and rest. Day 4 was challenging mentally, as I approached the halfway mark of the required 10-day quarantine. So many anxious thoughts due to the unknown. I used grounding techniques to deal with the anxiety such as breathwork and self-soothing by rubbing my stomach and touching items with a soft texture. I also shared how I was feeling with a trusted person who prayed with me.  A new technique that I’ve added to my toolbox was repeating a word to bring myself back to the current moment when my thoughts took their own path. I repeated “float, float, float”. Then I imagined myself in a river floating, going with the current instead of fighting against it. 

As I sit on my porch and reflect over my last 5 days, I’m reminded of so many things such as humility and gratitude for the over looked gifts such as the ability to taste & smell, but most importantly that we can “plan” to do this or that, but we really don’t know what life holds for us. Our plans can change in a moment. We must be fluid when challenges or the unexpected arise. These are the opportunities in which our faith is put in action. Regarding most things in life, we can’t circumvent around it, we must go through it. Make it easy on yourself. Float. 

Peace to you,

Kris